Welcome to the Palladium – and watch out for that portal to fire-and-brimstone-land!

I’ve been told there’s a ghost – a female figure in a flowing dress that sweeps through our breezeway – but truth be told, I’ve never seen anything ghostly during my time at the Palladium.

But I’ve also been careful not to open the portal in the Side Door Cabaret, because I’ve been warned NEVER, EVER to touch that hidden, fire-resistant door.

What portal, you ask? The portal to Hell, of course.

At least that’s what I learned from Matt Cowley’s short play “Another Day In Paradise” which opens tonight at Stageworks Theatre in Tampa and runs through the weekend. It’s presented along with eight other short, locally written plays in Tampaworks 14.

Matt, who lives in St. Pete, knows the Side Door from his work doing sound effects for the Radio Theater Project when they did a holiday fundraiser at our place. I guess that’s when he noticed The Portal.

In “Another Day In Paradise” Max’s wife is waiting in hell and he discovers the portal to get there is not a regular feature on the Palladium tour. Here’s an excerpt from the play:

Jordan points to what has just appeared: a door glowing red.

Max: The Portal.

JORDAN: It’s not part of the regular tour.

MAX: Don’t people ask about it, here in the middle of this theater?

JORDON: It’s across the room from the bar, most people don’t notice.

MAX: Open it, please.

JORDON: Oh, I can’t. Sorry.

MAX: Why not?

JORDAN: Well, fire codes, for one. Can you imagine, just one spark of brimstone flying out, with all this carpet? It’s fire”resistant,” but still–

MAX: We can deal with the fire. Open it.

Jordon won’t open it for lots of good reasons and tells Max one of them:

JORDON: The intersection of the divine and the secular is always messy.

If you want to know more about the Palladium’s portal to fire-and-brimstone-land, check out Tampaworks 14 at Stageworks this weekend. Thanks to Matt Cowley for adding another chapter to the Palladium legend.